Conversations are probably the most important tool in your job search arsenal. Networking falls into that category. So, we’re told to keep reaching out and find that “next” contact, but what do you do once you have their ear? Here are some tips on how you can effectively work that “next connection.”
It’s All About Them
You may be asked to start with your story, but the reason you’re talking to this connection is to get information out of them. Keep your “elevator pitch” short and sweet,then go for their background. Find out what make them successful. Get them talking about themselves. Ask questions that can’t be answered by just “yes” or “no” responses. HAVE A PLAN! No matter how the conversation goes, my goal is to get a referral to the next conversation. And… get permission to use this contact as a reference!
Talk Less, Listen More
Here’s the hardest thing to do; LISTEN! Yes, you want to make sure the person you’re talking to knows what you’re looking for, but you need to listen to the valuable information this connection has. If you have trouble quieting your mind, here are some common distractions to good listening that you should make yourself aware of:
Mind reading
- You may disregard what’s being said and try to summarize what you “think” they mean
Advising
- Giving advice instead of just listening to make yourself feel needed
Pleasing
- You are so concerned about being nice and placating that you will not hesitate to interrupt to agree, just in order to maintain peace… but it prevents you from hearing what the other person needs to say
Filtering
- You will hear some things, but not everything
Deflecting
- You redirect by changing the subject or telling a joke when the topic is uncomfortable for you (this is my biggest crutch, BTW)
Drifting
- Having your own “off-topic” conversation in your head then losing focus
If you pay attention to how you’re listening, you’ll be surprised by how much more information you can get out of a conversation!
The Power of the Pause
When you are asked for information or your opinion, try counting to 5 (in your head) before you answer. Even if you know exactly what you want to say, let the conversation “breath.” That moment of silence will help bring focus to what you are about to say and make it seem like you gave some deep consideration to your response. AND, when you answer, try and end one sentence BEFORE you think you should. We tend to want to over-explain our point of view. Say what you mean, then stop. If it needs further explanation, wait for it to be asked for. And let that wait time be SILENCE! I’ve found out some of the best information by letting silence “nudge” my connection to fill in the blank space.
Keep reaching out, keep having conversations, BUT, make sure you’re listening. And make sure you get that next connection!
Σχόλια